Nearer the End Than the Beginning

“But there are times, suddenly you realize you’re nearer the end than the beginning. You wonder, you ask yourself, what the sum total of your life represents, what difference your being there at any time made to anything. Or if it made any difference at all, really. Particularly in comparison with other men’s careers. I don’t know whether that kind of thinking is very healthy,  but I must admit, I’ve had some thoughts on those lines from time to time.” Alec Guinness as Colonel Nicholson, Bridge on the River Kwai

I’m in my late 60s. Whether I die today, or I live to be 100, I’m nearer to the end than the beginning. I’ve been watching this movie since the ’80s, and have always thought this scene rather moving. Recently, the little segment really stood out to me. Even though he’s a fictitious character, Colonel Nicholson’s monologue now touches a deep part of my soul. I suspect others feel that way, and healthy or not, we have thoughts on those lines. It’s not my habit to dwell in this mind set, but once in a while, particularly as I get older, I do wonder if my life made any difference at all.

I’ve messed up plenty of times, but overall I do believe my life has made a positive difference in the lives of some others. Methinks the self-doubt comes from another realm, and perhaps scars deep in my soul. But this missive is not just intended to look back. Rather, its intent is to explore some ways we can perhaps fill the days ahead with things that make a positive difference to ourselves and others. Over the years I have learned some things that have been helpful for the purpose of building up others. Let this be an opportunity for an old guy to help some younger folks shine.

Perhaps we’ll start here – It is important to embrace our mortality. I’m not generally a morbid person, but death is ever-present, and it seems like Americans don’t like to think about it much. That’s not hard to understand. We live in a largely materialistic culture and with that view, death is the end. That means you need to hold onto this life as long as you can. It doesn’t need to be that way, but that’s a topic for another day. Most people have enough fear of the unknown, including death, to keep them from doing some things they might do to make a positive difference. Recognizing our limited time and accepting it as an inescapable reality can help us overcome some of those fears.

Young or old, the trick is to attempt to live a full life by living each day as if it could be your last. Be intentional. Remember, it’s all about relationships in the end. Consider how you treat family, friends and co-workers. Think about how you use what authority you may be granted. Own up when you make mistakes, and apologize when you hurt someone. Reconcile with people from whom you are estranged if you can. Tell friends and family that you love them often. Leave a legacy of help, hope and edification for those with whom you interact every day.

It is amazing to me how people respond when you smile and have an uplifting word, or simply show some interest in your store clerk, waitress, or beleaguered customer service person. Deal well with your family, friends and neighbors. Not only will the family thrive, but it will be an example to other families, and provide a solid underpinning for the next generation. As was noted in ‘I Like Heroes‘, parents and friends can be great inspiration for young people. Be that kind of example when it can be the greatest influence. Did I mention we need to be intentional? We let far too many hours and days slip by in pursuit of meaningless distractions.

Making a difference is not that difficult. The more you spend time making a positive difference for others, the less time you have to wonder “…what difference your being there at any time made to anything.” You will know that you are making a difference in the lives of others, and that will make a difference to you.